In a press conference held his afternoon in an Iowa cornfield, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced he had lifted the ban on several players including Shoeless Joe Jackson, all in a desperate ...

Minutes after discovering the NHL has changed its rule and now allows pucks to be kicked into the net, Dallas Stars GM Jim Nill got on the phone with soccer superstar Lionel Messi. “Heck, if he’s ...

After millions of complaints from customers, McDonald’s has finally found a solution to the broken ice cream machine problem that has plagued their restaurants across the country – hiring the Amish.

As the white smoke finally emerged from the Sistine Chapel, Mennonites across the globe waited with bated breath to find out just whose authority they would be rejecting for the next few years. “It’s ...

With just seconds to go in the service, Pastor Karl really laid home a particularly profound point about atonement that really got everyone fired up and eventually sent the sermon into double overtime ...

It’s the debate that has taken the Internet by storm – who would win in a fight: 100 Mennonites or a gorilla? We took to the streets of Kleefeld to see what the people thought about this pressing ...

Gearing up for his first international visit to Washington, DC, Prime Minister Mark Carney took an intensive three week crash course in tongue-biting from someone who is a world renowned expert in the ...

Area man Garth Siemens couldn’t figure out what happened to his iPhone screen this afternoon. “I was just sitting there watching the first church softball game of the season,” said Siemens. “And the ...

Schazenblum’s favourite former dairy farm/wedding venue is now offering up to ten percent off rentals if you’re willing to get married during manure spreading season. “Come one come all to ...

One area man is on a mission this afternoon to figure out whether people who saw things differently than him in the recent election are either utterly stupid or unredeemably evil. “About 58% of the ...

Voters across the country are gearing up for what just may be the most exciting and important False Dichotomy we’ve had in many decades. “It was really hard to decide who to vote for,” said Mrs.

It’s long been known that professional athletes are highly susceptible to distractions while on the road. There’s no better example of this than the poor performance of the Winnipeg Jets, who are just ...